Monday, 16th May 2011 @ 1:56pm
It's difficult to put into words how I feel today. I'm struggling to be here. Getting up to go to work today felt so wrong and out of place. Actually being at work has been even worse.
I've had the feeling of simply not wanting to be at work before, but everyone gets those days. Today is different. Not only do I not want to be here, but I also feel like I don't belong here. For the first time, today I seriously have begun thinking about leaving my job.
Lately I have been feeling overloaded. Work, school, kids, clients. I was thinking today that one of these things has to go. Obviously it's not going to be the kids. That I wouldn't change for anything. My clients are also not an option, not only because they provide me with income, but because they give me so much joy. Helping them brings a joy into my life that I cannot imagine living without. My counselling work is who I am as a person. It's my path. School is also not an option. School is what's keeping me sane right now. School is the symbol of my passion for knowledge. It helps me to keep focused on my path.
The only thing that remains is work. Apart from income it really doesn't offer me anything else. Yes, the people are fun and wonderful to work with, but each day I'm there all I think about is all the things I could be doing if I wasn't there.
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